Green Flags & Red Flags Checker

Tick the behaviours you are actually seeing in him, not what you hope to see, and get an honest read on the green flags and the red flags, plus what to do next. This is a way to trust your own eyes, not a diagnosis of him.

Green flags — signs of care, character, and readiness

Red flags — signs to slow down and pay attention

0 green flags 0 red flags

What to do next

Please read this first

Some of what you ticked describes control, coercion, or abuse, not an ordinary relationship problem. That is not something a checklist, or you managing it better, can fix. Your safety comes first.

If you are in immediate danger, call 112 (Nigeria's national emergency number) or your local emergency services.

For confidential support in Nigeria, you can reach organisations like the Women at Risk International Foundation (WARIF), the Mirabel Centre (Lagos), or the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency (DSVA). In the diaspora, contact your local domestic-abuse helpline. Please talk to someone you trust. You deserve to be safe.

This is a mirror, not a diagnosis. This checker helps you name what you are already seeing. It does not diagnose him, label him, or tell you what he will do next. Only you know your full story, and you are allowed to trust it. The tool runs entirely in your browser. Nothing you tick is saved or sent anywhere, so it stays private even on a shared device.

A safety-first note

If a relationship involves someone controlling where you go, who you see, or your money, monitoring your phone, threatening you, or hurting you physically or sexually, that is abuse, and it is not your fault. This is not a couples problem to communicate through. If you are in immediate danger, call 112. For confidential help in Nigeria, reach out to WARIF, the Mirabel Centre, or the Lagos State DSVA; in the diaspora, your local domestic-abuse helpline. This tool is not a diagnosis and cannot keep you safe, but real people can.

How to use this

Tick only what you have actually seen him do, more than once, not what you are hoping for.
Be honest about the red list. The things we excuse early are usually the things that grow.
Tap Give me an honest read to see the balance and a clear next step.
If serious red flags come up, read the safety note. Your safety matters more than any relationship.

Questions women ask

He has some green and some red. What does that mean?

Most people are a mix. The question is not "is he perfect," it is whether the red flags are small and workable or the kind that cost you your peace and safety. The read gives you an honest balance to sit with.

Can one red flag be a dealbreaker?

Yes. Anything on the safety list, control, coercion, or violence, outweighs a long list of green flags. One serious red flag is enough to step back.

Does this tell me to leave him?

No. It is not here to make your decision for you. It helps you see clearly so the decision is yours, made with open eyes instead of hope.

Is this private?

Yes. Nothing is saved or sent. Close the tab and it is gone, which matters if you share a phone or laptop.

Go deeper

The Wife Material Blueprint

When you want the full plan to read character early, hold your standards, and become the woman a good man commits to, without games, shrinking, or performing.

See the Blueprint →