How Well Do You Know Me?

Name: How Well Do You Know Me?
Author: Cynthia Obinatu

One of you answers ten questions about yourself. The other guesses. You get a score out of ten and a result you can send to the group chat.

This is a light game for married couples. It is for fun and conversation. The questions are about everyday life. Your score says nothing about the strength of your marriage. The game runs on your phone, and the answers travel only in the link you send.

If you are afraid of how your partner will react

If answering these questions makes you afraid, or a partner controls, threatens or hurts you, that matters more than any answer. If you are in immediate danger, call 112. For confidential help in Nigeria, reach out to WARIF, the Mirabel Centre, or the Lagos State DSVA; in the diaspora, your local domestic-abuse helpline.

Written by Cynthia Obinatu, community and editorial lead

How the game works

One of you answers ten light questions about yourself, such as your favourite meal, what helps you relax after a long day and your dream holiday. You then send a link to your spouse on WhatsApp. They guess your ten answers. You both see the score out of ten, and the answers they got right and wrong.

The first spouse answers ten questions about themselves.
Send the link to your spouse.
They guess each answer.
You both see the score and a result.

What to do with your result

The score is for fun, and it tells you how closely you have been listening lately. After a baby, the small things are often what slips: what calms them, what they want to eat, what they would do with a spare hour. If you got some wrong, ask about those and swap places for a second round.

Knowing each other's small answers is one part of “Your Marriage” in The 6-Week Postpartum Reset.

What the link carries

The link carries the ten answers of the spouse who answered (one tap each) and their first name if they type one. It carries nothing else: no dates, no health details and no results from other tools. It sits after the # in the address, so it is never sent to our server or to analytics, and we store nothing. Anyone with the link can see the answers once they have guessed.

Common questions

Who goes first?

Either of you. One of you answers about yourself, and the other guesses. Then swap and play again.

Do we both need the app or an account?

No. You only need your phones. Send the link on WhatsApp, and it opens the game.

Can the answers be wrong?

The answers are only a list to choose from, so pick the closest one. If none fits, pick the nearest and laugh about it.

Is this private?

Yes. The answers travel in the link from one phone to the other. We do not store them and we cannot read them.

Where this comes from

Build love maps. The Gottman Institute.
Summer romance: love maps. The Gottman Institute.
Married Nigerians Get Honest About Their First Years Together. Zikoko.
Married Nigerians on what it takes to sustain a long-term marriage. Zikoko.

The idea of knowing your partner's everyday world comes from the Gottman Institute's “love maps”. Read this page alongside our editorial policy.

Go further

The 6-Week Postpartum Reset

The guided program for your body, your marriage and your mind after birth, plus a community of mums and a resource library you keep. Start when you are ready.

Explore The 6-Week Postpartum Reset →