Couple Alignment
Money, children, family, where to live, faith at home and work after children. Each of you answers the same 12 questions. Then you see where you agree and what to talk about.
If you are afraid of how your partner will react
If answering these questions makes you afraid, or a partner controls, threatens or hurts you, that matters more than any answer. If you are in immediate danger, call 112. For confidential help in Nigeria, reach out to WARIF, the Mirabel Centre, or the Lagos State DSVA; in the diaspora, your local domestic-abuse helpline.
How Couple Alignment works
You answer 12 questions across six topics: money, children, family boundaries, where to live, faith at home and work after children. When you finish, you get a link to send to your partner. They answer the same 12 questions, and then you both see each answer side by side.
- Answer the 12 questions for yourself.
- Send the link to your partner.
- They answer the same questions.
- Compare, and talk about the answers that differ.
What to do with your result
Each answer shows as “You agree” or “Talk about this”. Agreeing on everything is not the goal. Many couples differ on some of these, and the ones you differ on are the ones to talk through, ideally face to face. Ask what is behind the answer before you decide who is right. “Not sure yet” is a fair answer, and it also shows up as something to talk about.
These questions are a conversation starter. They do not tell you whether to marry, and they do not replace pre-marriage counselling from a faith leader or counsellor you trust.
What the link carries
The link carries your 12 answers (one tap each) and your first name if you type one. It carries nothing else: no dates, no health details and no results from other tools. It sits after the # in the address, so it is never sent to our server or to analytics, and we store nothing. Anyone you give the link to can read your answers, so send it to your partner only.
Common questions
Is there a right set of answers?
Can we use this before we are engaged?
What if my partner and I do not share a faith?
Is this private?
Where this comes from
- Married Nigerians on making love work despite their differences. Zikoko.
- Nigerian women on going 50/50 financially with their spouses. Zikoko.
- Married Nigerians Get Honest About Their First Years Together. Zikoko.
- Build love maps. The Gottman Institute.
The six topics come from what married Nigerians say they wish they had talked about earlier. Read this page alongside our editorial policy.
Go deeper
The Wife Material Blueprint
The full plan to read character early, hold your standards and choose well, without games or shrinking.
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