Green Flags & Red Flags Checker
Tick what you have seen him do, in the talking stage or after, and see your green flags and red flags counted with one next step. It helps you trust your own eyes. It cannot diagnose him.
Green flags: signs of care, character and readiness
Red flags: signs to slow down and pay attention
What to do next
Please read this first
Some of what you ticked describes control, coercion, or abuse, not an ordinary relationship problem. That is not something a checklist, or you managing it better, can fix. Your safety comes first.
If you are in immediate danger, call 112 (Nigeria's national emergency number) or your local emergency services.
For confidential support in Nigeria, you can reach organisations like the Women at Risk International Foundation (WARIF), the Mirabel Centre (Lagos), or the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency (DSVA). In the diaspora, contact your local domestic-abuse helpline. Please talk to someone you trust. You deserve to be safe.
A safety-first note
If a relationship involves someone controlling where you go, who you see, or your money, monitoring your phone, threatening you, or hurting you physically or sexually, that is abuse, and it is not your fault. This is not a couples problem to communicate through. If you are in immediate danger, call 112. For confidential help in Nigeria, reach out to WARIF, the Mirabel Centre, or the Lagos State DSVA; in the diaspora, your local domestic-abuse helpline. This tool is not a diagnosis and cannot keep you safe, but real people can.
How to use this
- Tick only what you have seen him do more than once.
- Tick the red list in full. The things we excuse early are usually the things that grow.
- Tap Count my flags to see the balance and your next step.
- If serious red flags come up, read the safety note. Your safety matters more than any relationship.
Questions women ask
He has some green and some red. What does that mean?
Most people are a mix. Ask whether the red flags are small and workable or the kind that cost you your peace and safety. The read counts both lists so you can see the balance.
Can one red flag be a dealbreaker?
Yes. Anything on the safety list, control, coercion, or violence, outweighs a long list of green flags. One serious red flag is enough to step back.
Does this tell me to leave him?
No. The decision is yours. The checker helps you see clearly so you decide with open eyes.
Is this private?
Yes. Nothing is saved or sent. Close the tab and it is gone, which matters if you share a phone or laptop.
Go deeper
The Wife Material Blueprint
The full plan to read character early, hold your standards and choose well, without games or shrinking.
See the Blueprint →