How Do You Love?

Name: How Do You Love?
Author: Cynthia Obinatu

He goes quiet for a week. You have a small argument. It is his birthday. Pick what you would do in ten everyday relationship moments and find out how you love.

This is a light quiz, not a diagnosis. It is not a psychological test and it does not label you or your partner. It is here for fun and conversation. Your picks stay on your phone. Nothing is saved or sent anywhere.

If a man is not safe

If a man controls you, threatens you or hurts you, believe what you are seeing and tell someone you trust. If you are in immediate danger, call 112. For confidential help in Nigeria, reach out to WARIF, the Mirabel Centre, or the Lagos State DSVA; in the diaspora, your local domestic-abuse helpline.

Written by Cynthia Obinatu, community and editorial lead

How the How Do You Love? quiz works

You will see ten everyday relationship moments, from a busy week to a forgotten date. Pick the answer closest to what you would do. Your picks show the love style you reach for most.

Read one situation at a time.
Pick the answer closest to you.
See your result.
Send it to the group chat.

What your result means

Your result shows the style that appears most in your answers. Every style is a real way to love, and none is better than the others. You may use one with your partner, another with your family and a third with your friends. Use the result to notice how you show love, and to say out loud what you need back.

The reassurer. You love by staying close in words. You check in, say what you feel and like to hear it back. Tell the people you love what reassurance looks like for you, so they can give it before you have to ask.
The space-keeper. You love by giving people room and showing it through what you do. You may say the words rarely, and you may need time alone to feel close again. Say it out loud sometimes, because someone who loves you may not read your quiet.
The steady one. You love through routine: the call at the same time and the plan you keep. People rely on you. Leave room for a surprise now and then, and say what you feel before it turns into habit.
The all-in one. You love fast, loud and with everything you have. The surprise, the plan and the full effort show it. Pace yourself sometimes and check that the other person is moving at your speed.

A love style is only a starting point for a conversation. To think about what you want in a partner, try the Ready for Love quiz or read dating on purpose.

Common questions

Is this a psychological test?

No. It is a light quiz for fun and conversation. It is not a diagnosis, and it does not put a clinical label on you or your partner. If something in your relationship worries you, talk to a counsellor or a doctor.

Can I be more than one style?

Yes. The result shows the style that appears most in your answers. You may use a different one with different people.

Is one style better?

No. Each one is a real way of loving, and each has a place where it can miss what the other person needs.

Does it tell me who I should date?

No. It shows how you tend to love. Who is right for you is a bigger question. Use the result to say what you need, and listen to what he needs.

Is this private?

Yes. Your picks stay on your phone. If you share your result, the link and the picture show your result only, never your picks.

Where this comes from

Bids for Connection: Creating Positive Interactions in Your Marriage. University of Georgia Extension.
Bids for connection: the tiny moments that decide relationships. Simply Psychology.
The State of Love 2026. Zikoko.
10 Nigerian men on what they wish women knew about loving them. Zikoko.

This page is about relationships. Read it alongside our editorial policy.

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