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Red Flag Radar

He went quiet for three days and came back with "I was busy." Is that a green flag, a let's talk or a red flag? Call each situation and see what your radar says about how you read men. Then see where you agree with Wholesome Girlies.

1. He replied within minutes for two weeks. Then he went quiet for three days and came back with "I was busy."
2. One month in, he takes you to his friend's birthday and introduces you to everyone by name.
3. Two weeks in, he asks for your phone password because "couples share everything."
4. You mention a hard week at work. On Friday he calls to ask how it went.
5. He suggests you split the bill on your first date.
6. Every one of his exes was "crazy."
7. Three months in, you have met his sister, but he has never posted you.
8. The food comes late and he is rude to the waiter.
9. He says he wants marriage and children "someday," but he will not say when.
10. He can't make Saturday. He tells you on Wednesday and suggests Sunday instead.

How Wholesome Girlies reads each one

    These are made-up situations. They are here to test your read, and they say nothing about any man you know. Real life has more context than one line, so use your own judgement on the man in front of you. The game runs entirely in your browser. Nothing you pick is saved or sent anywhere.

    A safety-first note

    If a man controls where you go, who you see or your money, checks your phone, threatens you, or hurts you physically or sexually, that is abuse, and it is not your fault. If you are in immediate danger, call 112. For confidential help in Nigeria, reach out to WARIF, the Mirabel Centre, or the Lagos State DSVA; in the diaspora, your local domestic-abuse helpline.

    Cynthia Obinatu Written by Cynthia Obinatu, community and editorial lead

    How the Red Flag Radar works

    You read ten situations that come up while dating, from a man who goes quiet for three days to one who asks for your phone password. For each one you pick green flag, let's talk or red flag. Wholesome Girlies has its own call on every situation, and the game compares yours with it.

    1. Go with your first instinct. Overthinking it defeats the point.
    2. Tap See my radar once every situation has a call.
    3. Read how Wholesome Girlies reads each one beside your own call.
    4. Send it to your friends and compare. The ones you disagree on make the best conversation.

    What your radar result means

    If you agreed with Wholesome Girlies on eight or more, your radar is sharp. If you called more situations greener than Wholesome Girlies did, you give men the benefit of the doubt, and a few of those needed a conversation or a step back. If you called more of them redder, you cut first and ask questions later, and one conversation could have told you more. If your calls went both ways, your radar is still warming up.

    A let's talk call means the situation alone does not tell you enough. Raise it with him once, without a fight, and watch how he responds. His response is the real flag. For the signs that mean step back now, read red flags in a man, and for the ones worth keeping, green flags that matter.

    Common questions

    What does let's talk mean?
    It means the situation alone does not tell you enough. Raise it with him once, without a fight, and watch how he responds. His response is the real flag.
    I got a different answer from Wholesome Girlies on some. Am I wrong?
    Not always. Your history and your values matter too. The Wholesome Girlies call is something to talk through with your friends.
    Is splitting the bill on a first date a red flag?
    Wholesome Girlies calls it a let's talk. Who pays is a values question, and couples settle it differently. Talk about what each of you expects before you decide what it means.
    Is this private?
    Yes. Your picks stay on your phone. If you share your result, the link and the picture show your result only, never your picks.

    Where this comes from

    This page is about character and relationships. Read it alongside our editorial policy.

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